Monday, May 07, 2007

Save The Earth! Kill A Mommy!

The global-warming-panic-lefty-loonie-Brookline-liberals want you to know who's killing Planet Earth:

Mom and Dad.

If you greedy, selfish, reproducing pigs would stop having children, you wouldn't need an SUV or (horrors!) minivan to haul them around. Your carbon footprint is crushing Mother Earth beneath the pitter patter of your children's feet.

Kids and cars--those are the planet killers. It's time, the lefties say, to get rid of both.

In Brookine, MA, the plan is to tax you out of your SUV.

At the "Optimum Population Trust," they have declared Mom and Dad to be "eco-criminals."

HAVING large families should be frowned upon as an environmental misdemeanour in the same way as frequent long-haul flights, driving a 4x4 car and failing to reuse plastic bags, according to a report to be published tomorrow by a green think tank.

The paper by the Optimum Population Trust (OPT) will say that if couples had two children instead of three they could cut their family’s carbon dioxide output by the equivalent of 620 return flights a year between London and New York.

John Guillebaud, co-chairman of OPT and emeritus professor of family planning at University College London, said...: “The greatest thing anyone in Britain could do to help the future of the planet would be to have one less child.”

This is nothing new. Enviro-Whackjob Paul Watson, founder and president of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, describes humans as "the AIDS of the Earth," and wants 80% of us dead so we can have a "sustainable" population of 1 billion people.

"I make no apologies for that statement," Watson says.

Here's my idea for the Brookline booboisie and their loony-lefty pals like Watson and Sheryl Crow: If you really believe human beings are destroying the earth, if you really believe that every baby born is a natural disaster, then why don't you do the one thing guaranteed to reduce your own carbon footprint to zero, and kill yourself?

Please do the Gaia Giver Goddess (and the rest of us, too) a huge favor and blow your brains out right now. Don't wait for the Earth Day rush--off yourself today!

OK, so you can't shoot yourself, I understand. Shotgun shells emit greenhouse gases, and you're all anti-2nd Amendment wimps, anyway. And you're certainly not going to sit in your garage with the CAR running (would that even work with a hybrid? Hmmm....). You could always jump off a bridge, but that would shut down traffic and leave thousands of cars idling and emitting for hours.

There's got to be an eco-friendly way for you to off yourself and show that you really do believe in the principles you are trying to foist on the rest of us. All the rest of us can do is wish you "Bon Voyage."