Friday, October 12, 2007

"Pull Over, And Put Your Paws On The Steering Wheel..."

A Massachusetts legislator (who else?) wants to make it a crime for you to let Fido or Fluffy ride in your car without a seat belt. Either that, or they will need a Mitt Romney-approved car carrier.

If you're one of those "irresponsible" pet owners who lets his dog stick his head out the window as you roll through the tree-lined roads of Massachusetts--don't worry. As long as Beacon Hill lets the cops spend all night earning overtime on detail "work," they'll be way too tired to pull Rover over.

UPDATE: Listeners respond...

Hi Michael,

My husband was in a car accident several years ago because the other driver had a dog in the car. The dog was at the driver’s feet and the driver was looking down and on the wrong side of the road. They hit head on. Lucky for everyone, there were no major injuries. But I am certain this is not always the case. Is it really so bad to propose that there be a law that a dog or cat cannot be free to roam around the car? Shouldn’t the safety of other drivers be a concern here?


But I think John hits the more profound issue:


Did anyone bring up other fine details of what this proposed law might entail? Such as, puppy canines up to the age of 12 months need to be restrained in a DOT-approved puppy car seat (facing backwards in a back seat, of course). Then, puppies aged 12-36 months (24 months for larger breeds) can then graduate to DOT-approved canine toddler car seats (again, back seating only) which will allow them the proper height to see out and enjoy the view while providing the necessary level of safety restraint. And, when the dog reaches adult doggiehood, they can finally move up to a DOT-approved doggie seat belt which not only safely restrains your beloved four-legged friend, but also has the added benefit of keeping your back windows clean of doggie nose smear!

For those who argue that their dog would not stand a chance getting out of the seat belt fast enough to jump out of the car if it was driving off a cliff, no worries, DOT-approved doggie seat belts can be purchased with the “ejecta-doggie” option which senses a sudden altitude drop and catapults doggie to safety (while driver and vehicle continue tumbling downward)…

We need this law, Michael, for those dumb and moronic dog owners who can’t legisilate themselves for the safety of our canine constituents.