"And Don't Mention 'Red Dwarves' To Native American Midgets, Either!"

Not long ago, the loonies at Media Matters attacked me for commenting on television that, in the p.c. paranoia swirling around the Obama presidency, "you'll be too scared to order blackened redfish, because an African-American or Native American will beat the crap out of you."

What an outrageous comment, right? Cue the Dallas County Commission.

When a county commissioner in Texas complained about how a county office was a "black hole" for tickets, two of his fellow commissioners--both black--complained about his offensive remarks and demanded an apology. (The must-see video of this story is here.)

Seriously. I'm not making that up.

OK, actually, I did make it up. When I did stand up, I had a bit about stupid people being offended by phrases like "black hole," "nip in the air," "spic and span" and "red alert," which could be offensive to both American Indians or Chinese communists.

The most frightening part of this story is that, even after confronted with the fact that "black hole" has nothing to do with race and everything to do with cosmology, the county commissioners STILL demanded an apology. Why? "It doesn't matter if what he said was racist. What matters is that I'm offended."

No, what really matters is that you're an idiot--the kind of idiot who is only taken seriously because you're a member of a special-interest minority group.